“Be fearless in the pursuit if what sets your soul on fire”

Unknown

“I don’t care much about what the devil says or does these days.” John laughs. We are at our usual Friday night dinner meeting and he is really upset.

“Why not?” I ask.

“Because she has no more power over me. She’s done any and everything she could do to me and I’m still here. She can’t touch me.”

“Who are we talking about here, John?”

“Who else? The wife; the devil is always the person closest to you.”

We both laugh.

John and his wife, Kate, have been married for almost twenty years. Although they are both professionals, Kate is a businesswoman at heart. A year into their marriage, Kate quit her job and announced she was starting her own business. That did not sit well with John. The idea of not having health insurance or a guaranteed paycheck gave him anxiety.

Fortunately, Kate’s business was wildly successful. Within a year she built a million-dollar company and business was booming; still John was uneasy. Two years into her venture, Kate began expanding her business. Again John, who was not working in the business, thought it was a terrible idea, he felt they should focus on savings. He wasted no time or energy letting her know about his disapproval.

Every decision she made was met with skepticism from her husband. The constant questioning, doubting and second-guessing finally got to her. Though she felt she was doing the right thing, Kate began to doubt herself. Soon they began to experience trouble at home. Eventually, the constant fighting and arguing became toxic. Kate found comfort in a friend and alcohol. That friendship became an extramarital affair creating severe problems in their marriage.

That was five years ago. Today John and Kate are happy together and changing the world. The path to their success was not easy. After Kate’s affair, John was devastated. He reconnected with an old high school flame on social media and began his own extramarital affair. He felt justified in that his wife was the “real” adulterer and she’s lucky he did not divorce her outright.

Although they were living in the same house, Kate and John did not have a relationship. Every conversation became an argument, leaving holes in the wall and broken electronics. After agreeing to marriage counseling, they began to make some progress until Kate found out John was still in contact with the old flame from high school. They kept going to counseling but fought on the way to, from and during their counseling session.

Finally, John had enough and told Kate he would not mind if she wanted him to move out. To which she quickly said yes. “It was then that something in me clicked.” John says. “I knew we could work things out and I knew we were supposed to be together but I just didn’t know how to do it.

“Kate was mad at me and she held everything against me. We lost it all, the business, our house, our cars, our investments, all of it.”

So what was it that finally clicked for John? It is the fact the source of their troubles stemmed from his fears manifesting in his relationship. “Don’t get me wrong, my wife was and is no saint; but I realize I was the one destroying my own life.

“I had no close relationships and it was all because of how I managed my relationships. Once I had that realization, I knew I had to change my ways. It wasn’t easy but I did it and I’m still working on it to this day”

Relationship is the key to personal success. We live in a world where everything we do is based on interactions with someone else. We not only have relationships with others, but also with our environment and with God. How we manage our relationships determine how successful we are. It is the oldest institution in the world. The first relationship was between God and man, followed by man and his mate.

Jesus said Love God with all your heart and love your neighbor. This is the foundation of true prosperity. To love is to “serve and protect” those around you. Most people in a relationship are looking for something they want the other person to provide. This is the cause of most relational problems. Imagine a relationship where your needs are met solely by providing for the other person. That is the basis of a God-like relationship.

The first step to successful relations is the vertical relationship: your relationship with God. When your God relationship is right, then you work on your horizontal relationships; those are relations with those around you, beginning with your spouse. As your relationships improve, other aspects of your life such as business, work, finances and health will also improve. Successful relationships equals success in life.

Remember, it’s all about relationships, beginning with your personal relationship with God.